Duodecimus Iunius
2013
Ave Boris,
Volo conqueror re quadras pavimenti. Est hos cum triginta sex bullae ad quodquae iuncturae atque bivii quas re vera adipiscant meum caper.
Cur o cur habemus tot ? Nocent meis pedis et nolo illas apud Londinium. Malo planas quadras – sunt melior pro meis teneris pedis et expecto caecus populus noli necessitant.
Ero lactus si amoevebis illas.
Tibi gratias ago,
Omnis optime,
Jacobus Aestes ( Jamie Summers )
P.S. Obvenivi homo caecus porro Garratt Lane hic post meridiem et inquit sunt solum utilis in pergrinas areas. Dicavit ibi est nunc ‘satelles navigatio’ quod reddat eas supervaceneos.
Quiesco meum quaestionum.
The translation below was not sent to Boris. He just received the Latin version.
Reply from Lucy Brant, 25 June 1014:
21st July 2013
Your ref : MGLA 130613-9005
Dear Lucy,
Thank you for your letter dated 25th June 2013 concerning my complaint about ‘tactile paving’. A minor pedantic gripe would be that you didn’t post it until 1st July and then it failed to arrive until 4th July – however, hypocrisy rules because here I am waiting until 21st July to pen a response !
Of course my letter to Boris was partly ‘tongue-in-cheek’ to put a smile on his face, but there again I did mean what I said. Your reply was measured (albeit sadly not in Latin) and well crafted. I fear we are stuck with these impedimenta – to replace them them all would be a cost and effort too far.
Wishing you every success in your career,
I remain,
Yours sincerely,
Jamie Summers