Dear Mr Blair,

We were exact contempories at Oxford back in the early Seventies – while you were strumming away with ‘Ugly Rumours’ at St. John’s I was playing golf every day,  not attending lectures and doing typical ‘studenty’ things at Christ Church. You will probably remember kind Barry Wild at St. John’s who was in the golf side with me, but one or two years older than us. Continue reading Letter to Tony Blair, ex-Prime Minister →

Your Highness,

I am on my last day of a 12 day holiday in your country where I have not been before – my education has been lacking.  It is good to see the devotion that the people have for the Hashemite monarchy – if only your UK counterparts were so lucky !  Many years ago, I had the honour of meeting your father who was staying in the Chilterns with friends of my family, the Streets. This must have been several years before you were even thought of.

Furthermore, I was friends with a lovely couple, Jamie and Liz Cork in the early eighties in London. One of them, I cannot recall which, was your father’s Godchild and as a wedding present he gave them a Mercedes 250SL – how marvellous.

Apologies for the sycophancy but I have been to probably 120 countries around the world and your’s ranks very high in my estimation. People have been charming to me, even your traffic police keep saying, “ Welcome to Jordan “ when I pull up at their checkpoints. Obviously amongst archaeological extravagancies, Petra reigns supreme but some of the lesser known and thus less trampled sites have been superb . Umm Qais (Gadara) was in its way more special than Jerash and the mosaics at Umm ar-Rasas dare one say it finer than those in Madaba – at both places I was virtually the only tourist.

I have made so many new friends and will embarrass them in writing their names, well just a few of them anyway …

Billal at his souvenir shop at the circled entrance at Petra.

The gap-toothed Bedouin boy with his excellent English, trying to sell me his bracelets on the way back from the Siq.

All the staff at the Petra Moon Hotel.

Waleed, the bell-boy at the Days Inn in Aqaba.

Mohammed, night duty manager there – a fan of this notepaper !

Fares, the perfumier in Aqaba.

And perhaps last but by no means least at his Al-Anoud jewellery shop in Madaba, Anwar Al-Rayyan, Special Forces Commander in the Jordanian Army 1967 and 1973.

+ others too numerous to mention.

I leave on the EasyJet back to Gatwick this evening as you tussle with John Kerry and Mahmoud Abbas in efforts to find an accommodating peace in Palestine where my parents both worked during WW2 occupying a flat in the American Colony in Jerusalem. May power come to your elbow, Sir.

Just a few pedantic little gripes about matters trivial.  Signposting is attrocious !  Many times I have followed signs to Aqaba say before they then disappear making it very hard for a non-local to find the right road. Also dismaying and annoying is the defacing of road signs, often to important sites, by fly-posting maniacs who cover entire signs obscuring any chance of seeing whether one needs to go left, right or straight on. Infuriating.

Littering is endemic – no one seems to care for their environment. Boxes, bags, cigarette ends, paper is thrown willy-nilly from cars and pedestrians alike. Such a shame for a beautiful country to look so messy and rubbish-strewn.  Any chance of instilling a little civic pride among your citizens ?

Lastly one worries about the tragically high death rate on the roads – your people drive appallingly, with cavalier selfish attitudes – no indication, no seatbelts (why ?), children roaming about the front and back of vehicles, everyone using their mobile phones while driving, parking skills absent, overtaking & undertaking efforts lamentable … the list goes on.

However, many thanks again for all your people’s hospitality over the past few days.  I shall return soon I hope,

Insh’Allah,

Yours sincerely,

Jamie Summers

Dear Mr Aliyev,

I recently spent about 9 hours in your country and would like to make some comments about my experiences and observations.

Firstly, there was the extraordinarily complicated procedure for obtaining a visitor’s visa which I endured over several days in Tblisi, Georgia. I have visited some 120 countries around the world and have to say that getting into yours was the hardest,  probably akin to entering  North Korea. Consulate working hours of just 2 hours a weekday,  letters of introduction and photos to be procured elsewhere , payment for the visa only possible several kilometres away in an Azerbaijan bank. It was then required that I leave my passport for several days – this I was unable to do because I was intending to travel into neighbouring countries. On my return a few days later at 10a.m. I was then told to come back at 4p.m. when the long-drawn-out process would be completed .  Honestly ! All this for just a few hours in Baku.

I took the Azerbaijan Airlines morning flight from Tblisi which was fine, although serving a full meal on a 40 minute flight might be a step too far. Luckily there weren’t too many passengers.

On arrival at Baku Airport (oh, I do beg your pardon sir, … at the Heydar Aliyev International Airport) I was extremely disappointed to discover  there were no ‘left luggage’ facilities available which meant I had to lug my case around for the next few hours. Yours must be the only airport in the world with this problem.

After avoiding several aggressive taxi sharks a decent bloke took me via the fascinating Yanar Dag (where the custodians appear to know little about their ‘blazing mountain’) to the Old City of Baku.

I then walked for miles around the city – along the ‘Bulvar’, in my view a poorly designed indentikit effort at a French boulevard / promenade where hundreds of workers were tending their formulaic sections in some sort of Soviet-inspired utopian work ideal. I passed the world’s tallest flagpole (or is it the Heydar Aliyev Flagpole ?), the base of which was out of bounds to us mere mortals – perhaps the Aliyev dynasty mausoleum was being constructed underneath. Yet more workers tended unnecessary, over-engineered verge gardens on the ‘Heydar Aliyev Avenue’ out towards the airport.

It was somewhat galling to note that you have named Zaha Hadid’s rather fine edifice the ‘Heydar Aliyev Centre’ – is your family on some sort of power trip ? These vanity projects are an utter waste of your country’s oil money which you appear to be squandering willy-nilly.

Leaving your country was a bittersweet affair too. The good bit was excellent service in the departure check-in area. The bad bit was truly outrageous … my checked-in bag was taken aside for ‘additional security checking’. A security guard prodded around its contents before asking me to zip it up again. When I arrived home in England I was appalled to discover that this ‘security’ man had stolen 3 packets of Georgian cigarettes bought for one of my daughters. An absolute disgrace.

I gather Tony Blair does your public relations – a rather poor choice in my estimation. He pockets US$ 1.5 million per annum as Middle East Peace Envoy with a free flat in Jerusalem. Have you noticed his efforts to keep the peace in Syria.  No, me neither.

I was just a humble tourist in Azerbaijan who even on a brief visit noticed a vast dichotomy between all this ‘Heydar Aliyev’ stuff and the people at the periphery of your projects. Do you think Allah approves of your activities ?

Yours sincerely,

Jamie Summers